It was several days ago during dinner that I realised how different behavioural patterns my husband, Ridho, and I have. From the tiniest thing like eating watermelon - I see, psychologically, our differences.
Ridho's watermelon seeds take one by one and he does it conscientously and eat slowly. I eat all watermelon like a madman. I do it fastly. Ridho is patient. I am not.
It goes both ways though, all characteristics. Patience is related to consequential decisions, contemplation and self-reflection. It also relates to slowness. Impatience relates to recklessness, hassle and stumbles. It also relates to fast-working.
It really is about compatibility and introspection. I am not perfect and neither is my partner. It's how we accentuate each other's characters. I call it cooperation. Some people call it marriage.
I come to think of how we are doing good in a land not ours. I think it's because we listen and see each other eye to eye. "I am the leader of this household and by that I decide we are equals and we should discuss our decisions," is what he says when I ask how he applies his beliefs to his marriage.
He molds me in ways that are not deliberate. I suppose I do that to him too but I'm not to say. He jokes of our relationship as: "Kamu yang nyemangatin lari lebih cepet sementara aku yang ngipasin kalo udah kecapean." which I think is metaphorically excellent.
We are two people not only together because we are in love, but we learn how to maintain it.
.......So I am going to hug my husband, who has been such a good and supportive friend of mine for an unmeasurable 11 years. A companion for 5 years and a spouse for 4. Who has held my hand through the most defining period of my life up until now (I am pretty sure, if I am given the time, there are still so much more to come). Who is literally 'my home away from home'.
For Ridho Chayono,
The humble man alive,
I've got you under my skin....
*Happy 4th Anniversary My Dear...*
And I Still remember the first flush of love...